Here is the post that this thread is being referred to.|
Posted by John on January 26, 2007, 5:32 pm
As The Mud Slides ...
the continuing saga of the gringo struggle to gentrify "La
it's rodeo time, and it's gringo day, the casino is full,
everyone is waiting for the festivities to start...at the
end of a table we find Derwood and Wilma(hill people),
seated with 3 of the crew who regularly frequent the local
tavern called "Pablos", Pete, Gretchen, and Albert.
Pete: what's taking them with the beer? At a cost of
200pesos for all the free beer and food you can consume, you
would think they would get their asses in gear and get the
Wilma: I think it's terrible that we should have to pay for
free food and beer; the Mexicans get in free.
Gretchen: Jesus H Christo, Wilma! you have a house on the
beach for sale for 1/2 million dollars, and you're b###hing
about 20 bucks!..
I was one of the first gringos here, and I know everyone in
this town, and it's only you new comers who think giving
something back to the Mexicans is a sin.
Derwood: I take exception to that! I'm part of a group of
volunteers that's been working hard to get a sewer system
Albert: That's bullshit! This is Mexico, and if the Mexicans
want a sewer, they will build one..you are just a buttinski,
trying to make the place liveable for yourself, and at the
same time look good in front of your fellow hill
people...Tell me, how is your sewer going to work when it
all ends up in a manhole that's below sea level?
....meanwhile...several blocks away in the plush oceanview
office of Wish Greatfield atop his sprawling real estate
office,Wish is in conversation with 2 associates; Tony Amato
and Austin Gerland.
Wish: I have 12 beachfront lots and all the restrictions for
building have been lifted...it could be a goldmine if you
come on board with us, Austin...with your influence over
your rich friends...you could have them begging to invest.
Tony: I've already got all the right officials properly
greased, there will be no hold ups...and I've already got
the preliminary plans...46 units.
Austin: 46 units! isn't that going to be a little
overwhelming for the beachfront?
Wish: Who cares? I can sell most of them before they are
even finished and we will all make a fortune...Tony and I
figure after this project it will be an excellent time "to
get out of dodge".
Austin: So Tony..do you expect to construct these the same
as the others? Or do you plan to do them right?
Tony: Don't worry about my construction techniques...just
get the money..everything will end up just looking fine...
Oh, and by the way..I have it on good authority that that
little incident at the cell tower the other night can be
traced to one of your sniper rifles.
...back at the casino, sitting at another table, the
Contessa is holding court to her good friends, Juanita and
her husband Ralph. Also sitting with them, among others, are
Marilyn, and Bart.
Contessa: So tell me Juanita, what's going on with this new
tower? I've been so busy wiyh my new pool man that I haven't
been able to make it up to your mansion this week.
...Marilyn butts in...
Marilyn: Oh that ugly thing! It ruins my view! But at least
they shut off that awful blinking light.
Juanita: Nobody shut off anything, the light was shot out!My
cousin heard the noise and saw the light exploding. We
figure those responsible are those evil looking guys that
hang out at Pablos.
Ralph: How can you say that? You need to have evidence
before you can go accusing someone.
Juanita: Shut up and butt out of this!
Bart: Nice try Ralph. You know, maybe you are an o.k. guy
and not just the hill person you appear to be...let me tell
you something..I've been here a long time,and watched that
wife of yours grow up. And from an early age she was a
natural gossip maker...her skills are now so refined, that
by the end of the week, she will have 1/2 the town
responsible for shooting out that light.
...enters Audfred,sweet and bubbly, carrying a tray of beer.
Audfred: Hi guys, need some more beer? I'm just doing my
duty being a good volunteer gringo.
...Audfred sets down a round of beer and leaves
Ralph: Who the hell was that?
Juanita: that was Audfred,she just moved here...she doesn't
like Mexico much, but thought the people she met while
visiting were so wonderful, that she decided to retire here.
Ralph: What a twit!
..after the meal, Marilyn meets up with Wilma while
strolling about the casino
Marilyn: hi Wilma...are those people you were sitting with,
the ones who sit around drinking at Pablos all day?
Wilma: I don't think they are there all day, doesn't the
place close at night?
Marilyn: I just heard that they are all a bunch of
anarchists trying to disrupt things here and ruin our
paradise..they shot out the cell phone tower and were
responsible for last nights blackout.
Wilma: Those assholes! That happened right in the middle of
my favorite tv show..I'm going to tell them what I think.
..Wilma marches over to where Pete, Gretchen,and Albert are
Wilma: You guys think you are pretty smart, knocking out the
hydro and trying to spoil our paradise.
Pete: Hold on a minute lady!I don't know what you are
talking about, but your paradise is just an illusion...even
if some natural disaster never happens and brings things
tumbling down, the shear number of stupid cows like you that
keep coming here will turn this place into anything but a
Gretchen: Yea...and besides, no one needs to tamper with the
power..this is Mexico, and it happens on its own often
Marilyn: Well if Mexicans weren't so lazy, they could keep
things going like they are supposed to.
Albert: (under his breath) How can so many ding bats end up
in the same place?