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Beatriz - The Real Story

Posted by Anonymouse on June 22, 2011, 6:21 pm

Deanna and all of the other dedicated weather junkies deserve to know what really happened to Beatriz. The shocking truth is that there was NO BEATRIZ.
When the fateful dawn arrived the other day and absolutely nothing happened, I began to suspect that there was something fishy going on (Yes I know that I live down wind of the fish co-op but that’s beside the point) Suspecting that there were dark, sinister forces at work, I decided to call-in some old favors owed from the Russian SS their close associates, the Pakistan Intelligence agency and a guy in Istanbul named Bernie (No, not that Bernie) This terrible troika was contacted by Syria, who was desperate to arrange some sort of diversion to remove media attention from their mass killing of unarmed. Syrian civilians.

Americans seem to be fascinated by weather disasters so it was agreed to
arrange one. Bernie contracted with the world’s best hackers, the Szechuan Dragons* (Note the asterisk, it means they are extra hot!) For a half million Euros they would create a hurricane aimed directly at Los Angeles.

Syria loved the concept but thought the price was too high. So they bypassed Bernie and negotiated directly with a group of teenage hackers in North Korea, known as the simple seven. They agreed to do the job for a case of Yoo-hoo and a carton of DingDongs Fox News got wind of the caper from their contacts in the Russian Mafia and they upped the ante by offering the Simple Seven a year subscription to Playboy if they could somehow link the disaster to Obama. They declined because they have a soft spot in their heart for Obama because they believe he actually was born in North Korea.

Although, brilliant with computers, they were lousy with Geography and couldn’t find Los Angeles but someone told them that there were a lot of American and Canadians in La Manzanilla, so…….

I must remain anonymous because if my true identity is discovered, there will be dangerous attempts made to alter my medication.

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